yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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