If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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