dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
