i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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