she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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