is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
