well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
