I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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