Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
