we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
