I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm just crazy horny about you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
