i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
