im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
