I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
