im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize