hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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