just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
