dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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