make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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