You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
