There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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