I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
