You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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