I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
