That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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