My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
