O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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