I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
