Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
