So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
