12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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