You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
