i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
