Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
