when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just found puke in my bra..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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