I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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