she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Semen is not good for contacts.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
