I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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