I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
