I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
