You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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