Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
