The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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