thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
even my farts smell like vagina
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
