youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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