I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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