i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
