I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
