Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
