i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
